Confidence Building

★ You may lack confidence because you're convinced that everyone else has it better than you do. However, at the end of the day, it only matters if you're happy by your own standards. If you have no idea what those are, then it's time to do some soul searching before you move forward.

★ Additionally, studies have found that spending time on social media often encourages people to compare themselves with others. Because people tend to post only their triumphs and not their realities of daily life, it can seem as though the flives of others are more wonderful than your own. This is likely not true! Everyone has ups and downs in their lives.

Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, or how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant. If you've made a mistake, the best thing you can do is to recognize it, apologize, and make a game plan for avoiding it in the future.

If you want to build your self-confidence, then you have to focus on improving your own life for the better, not on making your life more like your best friend's, your older brother's, or like those of the celebrities you see on television. If you want to build up your confidence, then you need to know that there will always be someone who is prettier, smarter, and richer than you, just like there will always be someone who is less attractive, less intelligent, and less wealthy than you are; all of this is irrelevant, and what is relevant is caring about advancing your own goals and dreams.

Eventually, your positive thoughts should be given more "brain space" than your negative thoughts. The more you counter your negative self-thinking with positivity, the more natural this will become.

A person with self-confidence generally likes herself, is willing to take risks to achieve her personal and professional goals, and thinks positively about the future. Someone who lacks self-confidence, however, is less likely to feel that she can achieve her goals and she tends to have a negative perspective about herself and what she hopes to gain in life. The good news is that self-confidence is something that you can build on your own!

Avoid spending time around things that can make you feel bad about yourself again. These might be reminders from the past, clothing that no longer fits, or places that don't fit with your new goals of gaining confidence. Though you may not be able to get rid of every negative source in your life, you can certainly think about how to cut your losses. This will go a long way in building your self-confidence up.

★ Be comfortable with fear

★ Be patient with yourself

★ Strive for balance

★ Stop comparing yourself to others

★ Recognize your insecurities

★ Bounce back from your mistakes

★ Avoid perfectionism

★ Practice gratitude

The purpose of identifying your negative thoughts is not to dwell on them; it is to become more self-aware so that you can begin to think more positively about yourself.

★ Adding a variety of interests or hobbies to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends as well.

★ When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence.

★ Take it to heart and respond positively. (Saying "thank you" and smiling works well). Let the person giving the compliment know that you really appreciate it, and work to reach the point where you are able to truly accept the compliment at heart.

★ You can add the compliment to your list of positive attributes about yourself and use it to bolster your self-confidence.

This exercise isn't meant to bring you down. It's meant to make you aware of the problems you're dealing with, and empower you to move past them.

Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, and then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, or dance. Find something you enjoy and cultivate a talent to go with your interest.

Many people with low self-esteem have difficulty taking compliments; they assume that the person complimenting them is either mistaken or lying. If you find yourself responding to a compliment by rolling your eyes, saying, "Yeah, right," or shrugging it off, you should re-frame your response to compliments.

Often at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, material items, good luck, or money. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and dissatisfied. Finding the inner peace that accompanies true gratitude will do wonders for your confidence. Take some time to sit and think about all of the things you have going for you, from your wonderful friends to your health.

Like everything else in life, building self-confidence is about maintaining balance. Too little self-confidence can keep you from achieving your goals and feeling good about yourself. People with too much self-confidence often face the same problem because they underestimate the time and effort needed to achieve their goals.

Sometimes you go backwards to go forwards. Gaining self-confidence does not happen overnight. You might try something new and not meet your goal. If possible, see what lessons are there. Not meeting your goal the first time around is an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Self-confidence needs to be nurtured and grown, a bit at a time.